Weird...

I'm really wondering what I'm doing in an "online" sense now. I have a blog, a twitter account, email, web and *nix powers, but what I have I done with them. More importantly what should I do with them? Rhetorical for the blog of course because here I am...

The most prolific blogger I know (in real life) tends to write about what he was doing in a day, things he's done or will do, thoughts on this or that. Same with most Twitter postings I've bothered to look at. First I'll admit that I haven't tried to read many tweets, but I use Slashdot like Twitter in a sense. But what I am doing? Other than practicing my rhetorical questions? When I try and start a rhythm going with daily posts I tend to write about meta issues, a sort of Sienfeld of blog posts, a blog about thoughts about blogs, endless self referential loops that eventually just peter out. Kind of like modern culture. Huh - talked myself into the mainstream. I'm the everyman, talking about talking about nothing, endless repeats and references. Yes I do get the irony that I am the one seemingly decrying pop culture references. I am the one with a Simpson's or Futurama quote at the ready. I'm not applying morality to the our-culture-is-a-self-referencing-house-of-mirrors, but I can't see it as being entirely wholesome either.

This is the sort of thing that will cause people to rise up and cast of the shackles of their oppressive machines, machines made in their own image, in a kind of Butlerian Jihad... And yet I can't keep from referencing something somewhere. It must be a crutch, a bad habit that I've developed over the years, that if I can't tie something I say to something that's come before it can't be good. That kind of ideology doesn't stand up - it doesn't make logical sense. I would hope that I could one day make something that isn't embedded in what came before - a wholly new thing, a creation I can point to and say "I thought of that. I was the first one and I can prove it." Yes it's wishful thinking, but apparently that helps you live longer. Not sure about stream-of-consciousness writing though. Not many studies there. Don't know too many people that do it, although my sister's boyfriend really does an excellent job with the ol' Facebook status updates. I'm more of a "open the faucet and let's see what comes out" rather than a couple of words slapped together, held only by a tenuous 'now' association... Even my gibberish is getting sloppy now - better move on.

Let's pretend that last paragraph didn't happen (if you didn't skip to here, I can't really take back that last paragraph. You've read it, you can't unread it... And don't bother trying it's too messy). Many have predicted "have and have-nots" future, with some sort of technology separating the two groups. Money used to be the easiest and most visible, but communication and computers has been a popular sci-fi theme in the past. It really seems like it is approaching, although there may be some different ways to classify people. Right now, the vast interconnectedness - searchable interconnectedness - provides tremendous benefits. The "always-on" society isn't really a burden, it's an analogy for humans that can communicate in parallel with what they're doing. Think of Twitter - you shout to the ether every time you start a task. Almost like you're a lawyer making notes in your log book for billing purposes. The act of communicating isn't really an act or effort - it's a side effect. But there are tremendous potential problems. The biggest is with power.

Electricity is the one thing I've been worried about being without for any length of time. It's the fungible energy and it makes all the fun things work. For me those things don't have to be connected to other people but whatever. People (and their homes) are starting to get to the point where they don't work right if there is no power. The techno-haves can't really operate without electricity. Many are helpless when the machines don't work. The article I read about trivia games and the internet become more clear - people don't have to remember things so they won't. If they can look it up online, it's good enough. I know I've said similar things in the past, but the problem is how to evaluate the information. It makes the most sense to put this in a social context.

Let's pretend that you weren't using a computer to find out the answer to a question, you could only talk to people. People who weren't using computers... *sigh* Anyway, you ask the same question, possibly in slightly different ways, and then you gather the responses and come up with an answer. If you are wise, you solicit several answers, hopefully from people you trust, and look for the common answers. The value of the response is based on your trust of the source and your knowledge about them. You can also evaluate the response to the particular question by watching and listening carefully to the answers given. Similarly, if you don't have an internal knowledge core, how can you possibly evaluate answers discovered on the Internet. Simply looking for the most common answer is a perversion of the "wisdom of crowds" idea. Playing games with internet search engine results started shortly after money was mentioned in the context of the internet. The "wisdom of crowds" idea works, much like free market capitalism, in a largely bias free environment.

So? Well, you've read this far (I'm impressed - I only read this far because I'm writing it. I didn't really edit it), so I should tie these threads together. The bias toward technology and always-on-communication can go to far, creating an insulated self-referential world that becomes your entire culture. This would be a "bad thing". Learn to operate without. That is a sentence and I believe it, rotund technoman that I am. Balance is elusive be one should seek it. Balance between operating with and without, connected and not, electricity or no.

Maybe tomorrow the diatribe will be better. Coherent. Brief. Illuminating. Less self-referential (doubtful).

2010: The next... thing

Creating a blog post for Jan 1 has to be one of those common activities that everyone does these days, akin to the crush at the gym for the month of January. Naturally I have to add to the rush, the useless torrent of nonsensical jabbering simply to add another notch to the old, um, blogpost. Tis no matter - not a huge thing, but it is a thing. Some kind of vague philosophical commentary that. If I was really going with the flow and not merely being dragged under by it I'd have created a todo list of sorts on Dec 31st and attempted to follow through with it. Well I forgot so I'm going to do it now, now being the "now that I remembered" now.

One thing I attempted last year and I desperately need to do this year is to keep that regular physical activity scale going. That or cut down on the ice cream consumption, but I'm not sure I can do two things. Well three because the other thing I attempted last year was to keep a regular writing pace. I mean this space has the capacity to contain my limitless dribblings and I think it's easier when no one is really paying attention to me. The opposite of many people I suspect. I mean if someone reads something I have written and gets a chuckle or provokes a thought or bridges a synapse, I'll be satisfied. Myself I've found this sort of writing closer to that of the classroom note taking exercise. I always enjoyed attending class and taking notes, but I rarely read them later. The act of writing was the path to deeper understanding and my penmanship was most horrifying. My mother always thought I'd be a doctor after seeing my scrawl. And I think that is what I have here.

My aunt lent me the memoirs of Albert Speer, one of the top ranking officials in the Third Reich government. He was initially Hitler's architect, but later an important minister. He was one of the few who admitted guilt at Nuremburg and served 20 years for it. He spent his time reflecting on what happened and why and produced a book. My aunt's comment was that it is slanted to show him in a good light, but that's to be expected to some extent. You can't be purely objective about things personally done or participated in. However that first hand account is always interesting. This is the another reason for writing, in a somewhat personal way, on a regular basis - to reveal one self to yourself. Sounds facile, but is a difficult thing to do. Those who are best at it are probably the people that lead the most peaceful existence.

So, perhaps I'll be able to write a little every day. Maybe this time I'll look for different times of the day to do it. Maybe I'll even factor in some pen-and-paper time. Don't want to lose the old skills just yet.

Day 6 - Is this a habit or a compulsion???

Working towards a habit with this here writing thang. I should really pursue better sleep habits, but whatever. Gotta hit the hay early tonight to be fresh for hockey tomorrow. It's really hard to concentrate when one hasn't had enough sleep. The worst part is that internal censor tends to go on extended leave when you're more tired.

Had an interesting team meeting today - my manager outlined what is going to be happening this year, as well as he knows it now. Like most things, the year has begun and the plan isn't finished, so we start with an outline and work our way towards having it done. Anyway, he gave some interesting insights to our "big boss", basically drilling into us that he likes to 'manage by data' instead of 'managing the data'. See that subtle difference there? Slick!

I really can't do sarcasm when I'm this tired, or when I'm writing - lacks the whole tone-of-voice and eye-rolling-boredom look that is necessary for sarcasm so obviously weak that it can do nothing but become an instant parody of itself.

Anyhoo, I've met this particular 'big boss' and really liked what he's had to say at various meetings. It didn't hurt that he was the one that delivered the "despite this whole market kablamo, every one's job is safe" talk. It's nice to be using the internet in your own house that one can continue making payments on. Nice. (Wow this sarcastic parody of this blog post keeps cropping up - my subconscious must be trying to tell me something...)  That wasn't behind my good opinion of him because I decided on that a long time ago.  He has an excellent track record working for highly technical companies and he started from an actual engineering position.  Plus he's sat on IEEE standard's committees, which is something I can respect.  Especially since he sat on the 802.11 series of committees.  Lasting through one of those would be quite an accomplishment simply because of the competing money, er companies that are trying to come up with something that is standard, but more like their standard than anyone else.  Everyone should be amazed that something emerges that everyone pretty much agrees to.  Anyone that can help move that kind of crazy mess forward seems like the kind of person that can sort out the mess that is the relationship between our customer & owner (they are the same entity).

I'm hoping that this 'big boss' can help our owner provide us with the information we need to create the products they want in a timely fashion.  There is lots of communication happening, but something is missing to make the whole thing really click.  Our company needs to change too and the fact that the 'big boss' is addressing both sides of the problem at the same time is really encouraging.

Did I mention that when I'm tired, I ramble on with crazy segues around the topic I was on?  I saw that Qnx has an embeddable Java VM that runs with its microkernel OS.  What I wouldn't give to slap that into some of the hardware we have at work...

As I was saying before, looks like the 'big boss' will be looking towards hard data to determine what is going on.  I think this is a good thing because it will bring us closer to repeatable and coherent processes.  This is the kind of thing that could be done in a scary way, but as I mentioned above, I like what the 'big boss' has done before and I'm optimistic.

I think some at my work may be worried about this 'big boss' because he isn't a big proponent of Agile - in fact, many of the ideas he's expressed are decidedly non-Agile.  I'm thinking of the 6-month product cycles as an example.  First, I'd like to point out that just because the entire company isn't 100% Agile doesn't mean our corner of it can't operate in an Agile fashion.  Secondly, I've made mention of processes a few times already and the Agile manifesto does say "value people over processes".  Some read that as "process == BAD", but I think that's limiting.  Processes can enable people - just like learning certain martial disciplines.  A student begins by copying the precise set of forms and movements.  Once those become instinctual, then the student is encouraged to explore the reasoning behind the precise steps.  Finally, the student moves beyond simple instruction and adapts the movements to themselves, expanding and refining.  Processes in an agile environment should serve the same purpose - to provide enough structure for people to operate in with the understanding that one day they may outgrow it.

Okay, guess it's going to be time for that whole sleep thing.  Soon.  Because if I keep this up much long and I'm just gonna pass out here and what little semblance of sense that these words have will evaporate.

Sooo....

So much for the fabulous discipline. I guess it is day 3 and this is the third post, but that isn't really what I was going on about. Monday was pretty good, although I talked to three different people that ran into the same "some grocery store has to be open today" issue I did. The one closest to home was open 9-5 Sunday, but closed Monday. Shoulda been checking that out Sunday and then the fridge wouldn't be looking so sparse now...

Went to a nice holiday BBQ, sans family. It's nice to be able to take off on occasion, but I guess it is a sign of maturity that I kinda wanted them to be there too. The kids would have been a handful, but it would have been alright. The swimming pool was the most fun and the most tiring. Interestingly the pool deck cut my fingertips pretty darn good. Guess that sandpaper-like coating combined with the water and hauling my flabby self outta the water conspired to remove my fingerprints. Pretty ingenious. Kudos all round for an excellent day.

Company picnic coming up tomorrow. That should be a good time - they've all been pretty darn good so far. The weather prestidigitators are calling for rain about that time, but this summers' version of rain has been quite sparse to say the least. Previous picnics have all been hot dry affairs, excellent for hanging about out-of-doors, if there is a spot of shade to be had. Rain will be a change and I can't say that my lawn won't be appreciative. There shall be shelter for all during possible precipitation. I think the progeny will be upset if we can't get a round of mini-golf in. They do get so excited to wield clubs...

Mmmm... Philosphical...

Got a lovely, unintentionally back-handed, but starkly accurate, comment the other day. Someone (I don't need to tell you it was Kimota94) labeled me an "infrequent blogger". I cannot disagree - the facts speak for themselves. The facts being that after an initial flurry of posts, I haven't really done much posting. It's true and I find it sad. So I have to start somewhere and I'm going to start here to change this trend.

One of the reasons I wanted to start a blog at all was to share my thoughts and to keep up with the ole writing habit. Back in the day, (grade 7), we were given writing assignments and I thoroughly enjoyed them. I added my own material because I wasn't done by the time I finished and so I still feel. Except now I'm not really given any assignments and the result is that I end up ranting to various people at various times on various subjects. Not always the best thing. Plus writing has its own satisfactions. My poor penmanship meant that I was encouraged to learn how to type when I was pretty young. The act of writing at the keyboard has been the one that I remember and so this whole online experience fits with that pleasant activity.

I really felt like "infrequent" was mocking me. It's not like I have little to say. I'm seriously, does anyone think that? Really? Haven't really read anything I've written or engaged in verbal sparing, er, conversation with me then, huh. So I am going to make a new effort - bring back some more discipline into my life, and have at this blogging thing. Regularity, habit, habigularity (?) will spur me to greater heights. Or more posts. Something anyway.

What's the frequency Kenneth?

I just wish my old friend Kenny D read my post, so that line would be more relevant to me. Anyway, it's nice to be back from a weekend away from the ole computation box (the little green men that live inside the black legos are starting to revolt and causing quite the mess o' trouble) and see this post from Tammy. I thought that maybe I'd be able to keep a good output going on the blogging front (it's not the Western front or anything - hopefully no Siberian quagmire lurking ahead), but was mildly disheartened by Kimota94's prodigious output. His talk of 400 posts wasn't a big deal until I realized how long he had been putting them up there! Sheesh!

But Tammy has found a metric that made me feel a whole bunch better. Plus I didn't worry about those days when I couldn't put finger to keyboard for lack of sleep. Posts per day is a pretty good metric, but I postulated that I may win words/day. But enough ego-stroking!

I haven't been able to keep up a good pace for the last little while as the everyone seems to be a bit under the weather here, especially my wife. She's got the flu - the real, respiratory-related flu, with the fever and the tight throat and so on and so forth. Worked out okay yesterday as I was able to get the boys out of the house for some previously-scheduled appointments and provide an additional sleep window. That and the food preparation and so on. Even got the kitchen cleaned up today! Couldn't have done that without a little spousal convolescence!

Got my oldest out to the rink for the family skate too. That was fun. Seriously - it was fun! He went skating with his class on Friday and did very well, so we went out today so he could show me how he was doing. He was doing good! Before he wouldn't skate without holding on to the wall or someone, but today he spent the majority of the time away from the boards and moving on his own. Even tried to glide a little. This is good progress for him as he doesn't like doing things he can't do. Which makes it sound like it would be hard for him to learn new things, which is what I meant. Really what it means is he doesn't like to be told what to do and he doesn't feel comfortable unless he knows what he is doing. So it is a steady process and it continues.

The computer thing is getting annoying. The computer likes to lock up and the registry has lost its mind more than once. I keep meaning to get on it, but I'm not sure where to start. That's not true - the real reason is I don't want to start the investigation because I won't stop until I figure it out. And I estimate it is probably a 1 or 2 day job, so I keep putting it off. I'm hoping it will be something like a redo of the CPU heatsink. If not, I'm not sure where to go as I don't have the cash to perform an upgrade. I still have my trust p3 so there is a fall-back strategy. Really who needs more than a p3 to smurf the weeb. Well, probably something a little more robust is needed with all the Flash and such, but whatever.

Blogging Obligation

Well, now that there are two different posts on the horrors, er rules of blogging in the small sphere of blogs I travel in, I feel I should post something about the topic as well.

Kimota94 referred to an earlier posting he made about a woman who was fired for blogging. I followed up on the link and found the following under the "about this site" link:

I started this website in February 2001. A year later I was fired from my job for this website because I had written stories that included people in my workplace. My advice to you is BE YE NOT SO STUPID. Never write about work on the internet unless your boss knows and sanctions the fact that YOU ARE WRITING ABOUT WORK ON THE INTERNET.

Seems like pretty sage advice. Guess one should watch what one writes about. Unless you can use words to cloud the truth to the extent that the original meaning becomes lost in a word torrent of unending analogies, with long sentences that wind like a mountain road - narrow, dark and twisting with no end and precipitous drop on one side.

I have thought about these things myself. As I have written recently, I wouldn't and couldn't start writing with even the implications of constraints. I just wanna let it flow, let myself go, paraphrase Beasties to the tempo. Guess I've always had that stream-of-consciousness style, back to grade school where I would write for the fun of it. But knowing that I would be open in what I wrote, I simply didn't create a blog for a long time. I knew that it would be easier to avoid problems that way.

Things have changed though. Started up something and found that I enjoy it quite a bit. About as much as I'm enjoying hockey - really it's becoming one of those things that I don't want to give up. I'm also finding out how to create appropriate, um... I want to say barriers, but it isn't a hard stop. More like a touchstone or heuristic - something that will help prevent me from typing my way into a corner. Or out of a job. Or a place where I've written causes a second party to interfere with a third party. Guess that means I don't want to commit treason, even accidentally. I'd like to think this is wisdom or maturity (hard to tell the difference), but it is also the product of some good advice, well timed.

I'm not going to post a DOs and DON'Ts list. I'd be happy to tell people what I think about what they write, if they ask me. Otherwise it is some kind of common sense - not everything that you feel is a good idea will be a benefit in front of others. Like strolling around naked at work. May be liberating, but not appreciated. May have detrimental effects on your career. Similarly in what you post - it may feel good to vent your spleen on your co-worker (or their fictional duplicate), but it may cause problems. Some things are still better left private.

Guess I would say that blogging should work on the inverse of the basic rule of computer security. With security, it is best to shut everything down, unless it is absolutely necessary. The inverse being feel free to do and say whatever, but there may be times when that isn't prudent. Takes me too many words to describe simple dicta - but I'm trying. Maybe later I'll come up with something more concise.

Pant... Wheeze...

Kimota94's just making it hurt with the density of his blog posting. I thought I'd have so much to write about, all the time, non-stop, but hey I guess we can't be everything to everyone. I have enough problems being something for me. What I really wanted to do with a blog (after thinking about it for a bit) was to create a space where I could write more. That is my focus, my goal, purpose, raisin debt rah, whatever.

I wrote a comment (to this posting) in response to a comment tammy wrote that sums up this idea. I don't aim to attract a following or gain respect - I want to create things that will stand on their own. Pearls of wisdom or insubstantial puffs thought, they are for the ether, for everyone and anyone to contemplate.

It would be nice to be make money from something like writing. Maybe that'll be something else I should strive for. Always good to have goals and dreams. Right now though my dreams are a goal I need to pursue - I'm so very tired.

More Meta blog thoughts

One thing that I like about this blogospheral existence is that one entry can correspond nicely to one train of thought. I was going to put "thought" but that doesn't work for me - I segue myself so easily that I don't think anything I write was one coherent idea. Probably 4 or 5, but whatever - who's counting.

The one-train-one-post is what will get my post numbers up. I'm not sure I'll have something to write about every day. Actually I'm pretty sure I won't, but I do have lots to say on other days, so hopefully the average will be something reasonable.

Something that I desperately need to start doing is more creative writing. Everything can be creative writing, but I mean in a more fictional sense. Some random topic taken to some subjective extreme with words not indicative of particular structure, purpose or destination.

To juxtapose the way I write with pj's comments from this month, I rarely edit what I type. I have always enjoyed a stream-of-consciousness style which can say more than I'd like, or less or whatever, but I'm hoping to generate that person in the bubble speaking the words right into your head. Incessant, insinuating, instigating, indignant, alliterated words. Alright, I do check for spelling and I'm keeping the alliteration because the definition justifies it.

5 Things

Okay Mr. Peter J - I'll have to follow on with the 5 things bit. But only because you referenced my brand new blog :)

One of the reasons I haven't bothered to setup a blog yet is because I can't keep my keyboard shut. So coming up with 5 things that people don't know about me that I haven't already mentioned will be tricky...

1. First computer in my (parent's) house was a 286 - a PS/2 model 50 to be exact. I got AH-64A Apache as my first game. The computer still runs, with 1 MB of ram and 10 MB hard drive.
2. I got a 2 on the Descartes, which may be interesting to people because I wanted to go to U(W) when I wrote it...
3. I have fired a musket.
4. Re-wrote the cs_supervisor task as a co-op at Cableshare - but hey, who didn't ;)
5. My OS in the Real-time class had the fastest context switch.

As far as number of posts.... Well I've only been at this a short while, but I'm game.